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View Full Version : Stupid Drunk Orcs



NinjaCorps
06-26-2003, 03:45 AM
My group was thrown into a dungeon by some of my people that had decided to take power for themselves. It was a dungeon that my country had used for the purpose of exicution for some time. In the begining it had a story behind it, but it has been lost for some time now.

We picked our selves up from the fall and made our way right. It turned out to be a dead end so we turned around and went the other way. We countinued on through a short narrow passage untill we came upon a room filled with 10 Orcs. We were not seen so we backed up and thought about the situation for a moment. After a while we came to an agreement on how to kill all the orcs without geting anyone hurt.

We planed to lure the Orcs into a trap by having them chase one of us out into the trapped area.(I was to be the bait.) The trap was designed to trip them so that we might kill them in the confusion of them all tripping at once.

I walked into their room calmly as if I were one of them. Upon my entry I said, "Hello" in order to greet them and let them know that I was not trying to sneak up on them.(Everything I say to them is in Goblin.)

They all turned to look at me, and one of them asked, "Who are you?"
I instantly said the first thing that came to mind, "I am a drunken apparition, I am your drunken apparition."(Everyone in the group laughed for a short while, and then we went back to gaming.)
The Orc I said I belond to agreed with my claim and they all went back to doing what they had been doing before I entered the room.(6 of them went back to drinking in one of the corners in the room and 4 of them went back to playing a card game.)
I asked the Orcs playing cards if I could play. They agreed and told me I would have to use the money of the Orc I said I belonged to.
I asked the Orc I said I belonged to if he were any good at cards. He said he was not so I said it would be a bad idea for me to play as I was only as good as he was at card playing.
So instead of playing cards I stood behind one of the Orcs and acted like I was giving hand signals to the Orc I said I belonged to. They accused me of cheating, and then the Orc I said I belonged to. I said that I was as my creator made me.(If I was a cheat it was only because he was.) So they killed him and took his money.
I told them I did not disappear so I must have been someone else's apparition. I claimed I belonged to another Orc, and he quickly denied it. It did not matter to them though, they killed him as well.
After seeing that I did not disapear this time they grow suspicious. They decided that they were going to see if this apparition tasted good.
They charged at me and I ran out of the room, leading them to the trap.

Everything went as planed only a bit better. There was a portcullis blocking a middle path that we used to make the trap with. We previously tied two silk ropes to the portcullis and then supported the expected weight with the wall we would be hiding behind.(By we I mean the other members of the group.)
As the Orcs tripped over the ropes they put so much pressure on them that they tore off the portcullis which flies off and squishes them.
We then take back our ropes and continue on our way.

The funny part to this story is the whole part envolving the drunk Orcs while they are still in their room.(My DM and the rest of the group liked that part a lot.)

Come on, I know you have a funny story to tell.